Can't stand with my own two legs!!

Something about discipline which I can never understand... why is it I need someone to push me to do something ? I've become such a retard, that virtually everything I do, I need an external force acting on it, in order to get it started.

I've become so prone to depending on people, it's not even a joke anymore !!

Ever since I was young, everything I do is done because people asked me to do. I've just only realized it. I've been pushed around so much by the people around me, that I can't even gather up the energy to do things on my own anymore!

The worst is that because of this, I'm now like a puppet with no owner, just lying around in some back alley, waiting to rot. It's now like I don't know what's going on around me, it's just that my body is so used to being controlled by the puppet-master, that I can't move it myself!!

I started to build a habit of procrastinating, because it seemd that my mouth was the only thing I could still control, despite being pushed around by this "puppet-master". It only became worse as people around me started to not take my words seriously anymore...

I've got to seize control of my "controlled" life again!! I vow to reduce my procrastination, but I just hope to gain control of my near-dead body of mine.

Can someone give me a wake up call??? It's time my wooden body is given life!! Give me a sense to achieve again, to achieve something!!